Accelerated Emt Alabama

ANNO 2050 : DIARIO DI UNA CASSIERA

Dear Diary,
Today we celebrate a very important occasion for us workers and employees of large retailers.
It 's been a decade Mega Revolution Cashier and changes resulting from it ..... Ten years ago the secret movement "Cashier for Ean (Ente Nazionale Antistracciacoglioni)" freed from the bondage of all supermarkets forced kindness and free of the insult and reaffirms or their professional dignity ...... There were bloody fights between the aisles of every supermarket in the world, our Movement unites with that of half of Europe in this fight, with figures of mxxda from both sides, casualties among our most arrogant and tenacious that they did not want to give that bit of education that differentiates us from some animal species (thesis questionable because I think that in some cases we have much to learn ..... oh well) and between the cashier more "monolithic" and "vintage" who did not like the changes drastic technological innovation, but in the end ........ Movement prevailed on all the struggles (and intestinal problems that ensued), and organized their work enshrining strict principles and rules requiring that all were obliged to follow and now you want to remember:

1) The cashier is a being human not a machine and even a furniture complement of cash or a carer in the service of consumer ...... The customer approaches the cashier is required to use good morning, thank you, good night I pray and not necessarily in that order but at the appropriate times and is especially wary dall'apostrofare the cashier with a "cashier" or worse "That one" and call it with no cash "lady ...." 18 "Miss 35 ....."... "Hey ....." 27 "Hey you ......" "Ffffssssssssssss" (whistle high Bergamasco milker or pastor of the Lower Gennargentu your choice of language style pop ....), The Godfather Act IV, "etc.. etc..
2) The clerk has the discretion to respond in the event that by its location inside or outside the customer claims information without the due shouting requests for clarification in an unknown Italian or missing subject, verb or verbal predicate and object, is also strictly prohibited from asking questions at random or illogical ("Cashier tuna? Lady here there are cans for dogs and cats ..... But last week I I got here I remember it very well .... Lady, he must have eaten the dog food for dogs, they look like a lot of tuna ........"), whispering jokes erotic or crap shoot blanks for the use and enjoyment of the tail that follows ......
3) The customer is strictly forbidden to get a feel that no one has granted or authorized the kind of give you the cashier if it is not a relative or friend and above all without his consent, give advice on the conduct of work, however, that the scientist often do not know and you may not specify bar codes at random or unnecessary price only for self-proclaimed anarchist tail spin doctors with master's degree in Organizescion ago uorc: vis problem is you ......"
4) Periodically organize knowledge of the supermarket tour and tasting of its products [TEST = small portion of food or drink for consumption on the one solution (1 ONCE ..... it is useless to go around tasting around the bench like a toy car from the track power, changing facial expressions and the illusion of not being recognized) - avoids the fanciful costumes to rehearse several times and make up a lunch or dinner for free - is strictly forbidden to bring the whole family and relatives of a second, third and fourth grade, put in your pocket greasy portions, ask the outline, the ammazzacaffè or a towel to hide stolen snacks move with lightning] and illustrate the articles in the supermarket so that customers do not have to be stationed in front of the "do-it-yourself wondering where are the shampoo. Entire families ..... to fix the scale display as fruits and vegetables before the last episode of Big Brother, waiting for the same weights and hand the ticket ........ just looked hard at the station to the cashier and vice versa of their seats wondering if there is a client that is within the fifth attempt that without trying to chase staff around the supermarket ......
5) I clienti che verranno sorpresi privi di  lista della spesa compilata in ogni dettaglio e che non siano convinti di quello che stanno cercando ("Vorrei un pane pugliese ...basso... cotto in forno a legna.... rotondo ma non troppo... con tanta mollica ma piuttosto  croccante...che non superi l'etto e mezzo.... massimo due.......me lo può affettare che poi fa le briciole??..")saranno accompagnati fuori dal supermercato, dichiarati inidonei (non idonei... non adatti....non)  e allontanati dallo stesso per i  dieci giorni seguenti con obbligo di firma giornaliera al negozietto sotto casa "Depandance del Parmigiano"
6) A cashier degree in "psychology of deficit patronage" will interview consumers in the entry way to judge if they are fit to enter under the following conditions:

a) The customer is aware that the phrase "I am a founding member ... or "I am a member since 1844" is not a passe-partout that opens all the boxes or the band and accompanies her down the red carpet at the supermarket?
b) The customer realizes they are not in Wonderland but in a supermarket where it is forbidden to eat and drink before crossing the barrier and speakers able to withstand the time needed to complete the expenditure as would be able to make any other public place?
c) The customer has already seen the flyer and is therefore able to distinguish between offers and promotions with or without a membership card, prices and discounts? He also knows what a bar code and the difference between an article and the other or is inclined to "do everything with the same brush" and so on? ("Ah ....... cabbage it is code free? Well weighs 6 ounces can not go too ?"......" Cashier why not take the code to handle the burden of water .. .. vuole complicarsi la vita?"... "Può staccare il codice da questo libro e metterlo in quest'altro no?" sguardo della cliente alla cassiera che sta a significare "Gesù ma sei proprio ottusa!!!!")
d) La cliente è idonea a portare nel supermercato la prole o è incline a lasciarla razzolare tra corsie e  corridoi, giocare con la merce, strapazzare articoli, bere , mangiare e quant'altro?
e) Il cliente è in grado di recepire un consiglio dato in italiano corretto? (Signora tiri la sbarra della corsia verso di lei.....STUMP.. SBAM.. verso di lei signora....STUMP SBAM STUMP....... VERSO DI LEI....... VERS O D I YOU !!!!!!! The lady with the leg is now withered by the shots, crosses the bar that closes the cashier lane ...... resigned to his fate of malignant misunderstood)
f) The customer is a "educational diversity"? a 'ironicoleso? stracciacoglioni a serial? Simply a qi -210? The cashier authority has discretion to postpone a new interview late in time ....... after a course of recovery in our "Happy Cart rehabilitation center"

7) were exposed tips for consumers:
a) The sixties are requested not to present themselves before 10.30 am stationed in front of the speakers and then the rest of the day on benches staring and criticizing the cashier ... Customers also will not be accepted in hand with the 50 euro if their spending does not exceed at least 3 € ......
b) pairs, trios and quartets like girlfriends, mothers and daughters, aunts and cousins, friends of friends, are asked to predict a basket each to avoid promiscuity of articles once you get to the cashier and the cashier exhaustion for Division which is never fast, has never categorically, but leaves on the ticket and unleashes unspeakable aftermath family feuds that go on in time and over the barrier .............
c) E 'is strictly forbidden to talk to the cashier during the performance of its functions .. if not for action as they are called by their original name and has not been customized (ie make the discount points accumulated with the membership card will no longer be "reset me" or "I put out the paper" and even "take away my money" .. "makes me discount soluble ?"....).. especially unsolicited suggestions and for most of the time incorrect and misleading ........ Routinely decide to take a biodegradable bag after the cashier has already handed over the bill, hailed and forgotten, not exempt from paying the bag that
d) The supermarket closes at 21.00 ... . Is strictly forbidden to wander at 21.10 with the air of one who has been catapulted from Mars for the big and is undecided on what to do in his life (the cashier and all the staff could advise you on this point) than to break kiwi who has worked so far and deserves to go home to rest and
) Customers are asked to deposit bags and gloves are not used as well as fruit and vegetables carte, scontrini e gomme da masticare negli appositi cestini per l'immondizia e non lasciarli cadere nel cestino per la spesa  o sul rullo... - la cassiera non è il vostro bidone per la raccolta differenziata e non è un'operatrice ecologica -  potrebbe venirle la voglia di lasciar cadere la "rumenta" (spazzatura in ligure per i miei fan all'estero ahahahahah) nella borsa che vi porterete a casa.......E' inoltre vietato lasciar correre sul rullo insieme alla merce bambini, documenti generici, dentiere, sacchetti di altri supermercati, soldi, carte di credito... guanti ed accessori personali quali borse...portafogli, il ciuccio del neonato, l'ultima bolletta del gas, gridando poi "Cassiera questo è MMMMMIIIIOOOOO "........

It 'been a difficult period Dear Diary .... Customers hidden in some deserted lane threw litter on the ground in prey to hysterical laughter as mischievous kids to kindergarten ..... Tourists apostrophised the cashier with fanciful and absurd requests only to provoke riots and unrest ... cashier who tried to strangle their customers with the same scarf pretending that he had stuck in the roll .... But now that some years have passed since that fateful date of processing .. we can sum up this great moment the common fight ..... we still have to develop something, but on the whole working life is much better .... Our help is in the invention, a courageous stunned unfortunately remained unknown, the remote control supplied with each box with its multi-function keys:

BUTTON CLONE down in extreme cases (the possibility of a hysterical note to the teller with a consequent rash such as a final stroke of the pen in the eye of a customer .... vaffa screamed loudly with his middle finger raised to the sky .. a spit-style blade, a sudden head) with this key before the client is a clone of the cashier (who will go on hold during the period of change, trying to calm down and who may choose to have a clone that resembles instead of Anna Bellucci Mazzamauro in order to confuse the customer and make them more willing to talk .....) which is actually a fully automated robot similar to the original or, if preferred improved or worsened in appearance, which responds to stracciabelino ( Ligurian synonym for non-elegant stracciabelino are stracciacoglioni, rompicazzo, stracciakiwi, a firebrick on balls, an iron anvil on them, spaccaminchia) con gentilezza e  esaurienti spiegazioni....... partirà un disco e il cliente dovrà interagire con il robot che gentilmente gli porgerà un pinpad (la macchinetta del bancomat tanto per fare un esempio terra terra):     
-"se desidera conoscere la composizione chimica dello smalto che intende acquistare digiti 1"
-"se desidera conoscere la  definizione della sfumatura di marrone dello smalto in tredici lingue diverse digiti 2"
-"se vuol conoscere quali oggetti potrà dipingere con questo smalto evitando che sembrino cacche di chihuahua digiti 3 "
" for promotions on the brown type 4 "
chihuahua for promotions on type 5"
"for promotions on hunting type 6 or press pound"
and so on until the customer, overcome by fatigue, shifts the article pays and runs out of the supermarket in the throes of a nervous tic .......
key clone has a remote control that can be used in the ward during breaks or when the clerk goes to his position and wants to avoid to take three days to make 20 yards to the body (in this case is recommended the selection of the clone Bellucci but would go to great Mazzamauro o una Tina Pica standard per le più "mature").......

TASTO RESO con il quale si rispedisce al mittente quello che comunemente viene considerato un caso limite irrecuperabile... Se la cassiera, analizzando il cliente, dovesse accorgersi che non serve a niente tentare di instaurare un dialogo civile ("Perche mi chiede spiccioli? un supermercato così grande e non avete spiccioli.... non  provate vergogna?"......-"Cassiera lo so che non può far aspettare gli altri clienti in coda, ma i soldi li ha mio marito che avevo dietro nella corsia dei surgelati... non possiamo vedere se arriva? Non può chiamarlo lei col telefono that here in case I give the number ?..." - "I do not do more as a snack cake ..... I leave here the flour, eggs and jam?" - "I told two pieces. .. because I have not heard peeeeep-sound scanner - twice? ") With this button, located below the rib, is implemented teleportation painless and sudden customer, without trauma or debate, since the accompanying parking in front of his car with a bye in the course of recovery after which you mentioned earlier .... logically, this key should be used with due caution and only in extreme cases ... I still remember with nostalgia the first time I found myself forced to use the key given: it was 2025 before me ...... with three old friends straddle giant ...

"Giovanna plants are your ....."
"No Maria I have petunias, but the lilies of the valley below are your Cashier .... see the lilies of the valley? Are not mine but my friend ..."
"Good morning, madam, has a membership card? "
"Pina remembered your deodorant ..... here is the end ..."
"Yes, yes ... the things that I try ....... ...... here it is 7 minutes !!!!!!!!"
"Beautiful enamel Giovanna this ....... I also take it very nearly
...." "No, no, miss this pair of socks in my .. my friend did not take them out of my ticket ....."
" Mary did you you got this spicy provolone? "
" I do not .... you Joan? "
" It 's not your Pina remember that you tell me before?
"Ahhhhhhh ... here you put it in my ticket cashier ........"
PEPEPEPPPPEEEPPPPEEEEE (MARACAIBO bell) is ringing the phone of one of three ...
"Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii .... who is he?" (When the doorbell rings probably the lady scream "ready chi parla?")
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" la coda si ferma e trattiene il fiato annichilita......
"Giovanna.... è morto Peppino......"
Giovanna che sta insacchettando i suoi articoli si blocca istantaneamente col sacchetto in mano facendo cadere un formagetta di mucca sulla cassiera che la guarda con la stessa espressione di una civetta impagliata......
"Nooooooooooooo ma quando.... come? Chiedi Maria......"
"Come scusa ?  ........Un infarto........"
e Pina che sta ditribuendo i vari articoli alle amiche si blocca con una plant in a box of nuts and a kukident the other hand, "Who Peppino's brother in-law of Mario Gabriella? oh jesus .... he was only 80 years ......." (Taking into account that three in total make nearly three hundred, Peppino was in the full weaning)
by hacking into the conversation, they are still on the first ticket and failing to see the light at the end of the tunnel. ......
"I'm 20 and € 50 cents lady"
"But when it happened? And where? Ask Mary, you ask ..."
"Oh ...... and 'success in train .. eh .... eh .... ...... you had a fight with someone .... ah ...."
"In the original train ?.......... always Peppino ........"
"No cashier this wrinkle cream is not my take off the can?"
"No ma'am, I just died Peppino passed, and I can not take off now .... would be 20 euro cents and 50 ....."
"And the rosary ...... when? Maria ...... ask him ... we have to go review all the relatives, have a chat ..... poor Peppino ..."
the rosary my foot started to key MADE .......... bye and good lord ...... waking discharge of a round of applause of the crowd made me realize that my choice was required and necessary .... eccheccazzo !!!!!

BUTTON SHOCK serves mainly to prevent the client moves without prior notice and at its sole discretion, the divider bar of the "next customer" which is now equipped with sensors and a DVD player to distract the queue, no more vintage songs throughout the shopping area (I still remember with nostalgia for a Christmas in 2010 during which I heard for over a 104 times "Thoughts and words" of Battisti - good song for charity but perhaps ask "What do you know of a corn field?" at Christmas is not a question worthy response - an alternating 50 times "Chocolate Ice Cream" unique piece thankfully, Pupo is already a bit too much like summer blockbuster of Santa Claus), but video of concerts and art films. .... A slight electric shock is immediately let go his grip and convinced that the rash is not a good idea to take unauthorized initiatives ....... In addition, the shock button is also used for the shelf so that anyone can think of ... as often happened in my time staring at the top of sdraiarcisi cashier in a breath from Dante's Inferno until all the spending was not passed and then, and only then, will deliver the cash or pay by the wait queue per un tempo infinito durante il quale gli accidenti si percepivano anche senza essere sensitivi........
Anche i pavimenti adesso sono dotati di sensori che alla minima carta, gomma o scontrino per terra emettono un sibilo che  segnala lo sporcaccione al pubblico ribrezzo.........

Inoltre c'è un tasto MUTE, sotto la cassa che elimina il sonoro  in casi limite come ad esempio uno sconto non effettuabile "Deve prendere il tagliando signora e col prossimo acquisto io le farò lo sconto" "Ma io non vengo qui la prossima volta" (la vedo tutti i giorni da dieci anni...anche due  volte al giorno ......) "Ma'am I can not remove the coupon to purchase this at home ..." "But he can not tear her? (A bite ?...... spit on?)" You press the MUTE button ..... the customer starts gasping without sound, and the cashier can finally go to the next customer without any 'another unsuccessful attempt to make themselves understood ... there are none so deaf as those who do not want to hear ....

Dear Diary ....
I'd love to know the name of the inventor of these wonders but is covered by secrecy EAN, every year we put a paper clip clip-teller receipts under the symbol of this reckless colleague remained unknown, thank you for the technological changes that have accompanied us and help in all these years .... A staple in the old bag bronze at the entrance of our supermarket to commemorate the urban legend that it will remember forever ..... Amen

Convert Email To Sms Yahoo

The roll praetorian just a "click"

E' stato attivato l'albo pretorio comunale on-line.
All'indirizzo http://albo.santandrea.gov.it/ troverete tutti gli atti che riguardano la vita amministrativa the City.